Today was round 2 of chemo, and so far so good. I won't bore you with the details, because it really is boring. And I have confession to make. One thing that has worried me from the outset of this attention-seeking exercise is that the chemo and surgery would knock me around so much that I would become a shell of my former self. I consider myself to be a reasonably proactive person, so I took steps to ensure this would not happen. I allocated 'entertainment portfolios' to my friends. Let me explain.
I was warned that chemo could take me to the depths of despair, and that being in hospital following surgery would literally suck the life out of me. So all in all I was preparing for a soul destroying experience. Not really something I was looking forward to. I formed an action plan, and slowly began implementing it. One by one I assigned entertainment portfolios to my friends, and gave them the low down on what's expected of them. The conversation/s went something like this..."If you want to come and visit me in hospital or at home after surgery then you need to entertain me. I don't want you sitting at my bedsite looking at me all pitiful and sad. That is unacceptable. You need to make me think of something other than how sucky this all is. So, if you're going to come and visit me then you need to entertain me. You are now Minister in charge of............." So far I have friends who have accepted the portfolios of teaching me to play backgammon (Craig), playing cards (Greig), jigsaws (Bridget Roper), crosswords (Matt), trashy mags (Rosemary), and manicures (Tina).
I'm unsure whether I'm confessing to being worried about becoming hollow, or about selflessly using to my friends to keep me real. I'll let you decide, but irrespective, I'm mildly comforted by the fact that even if I do become a shell of my former self I will still serve a very important purpose..........if you hold me up to your ear you might just be able to hear the ocean.
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