The First Step.........

Hi team


Tappity tap tap.  That's the sound of my fingers on the keyboard of my laptop as I struggle to think of how to start this post.  It's one of the few habits that I have that Elliott doesn't like - tapping my fingernails.  I do it when I'm nervous/anxious, or thoughtful.  In this instance I am all of these things.


Tappity tap tap.  Not known for often being stuck for words, I find myself in the unfamiliar position of being at a loss for what to say.  Maybe I'll get straight to the point.


Tappity tap tap.  I start chemo on Tuesday.  There - I said it.  Chemo.  Yuk.  Cancer.  Double yuk.  


Tappity tap tap.  Our lovely oncologist (here on referred to 'Anne') called us last night (Monday night) and gave us the low down.  The cardio surgeons have confirmed that they can operate, which is good news.  They have also advised that this is a one-time only opportunity, so they need to do it once and do it well.  Before they dig in, they'd like to try and reduce the size of it to have a better chance of getting it all.  'It all' being the thymus.  Liver removal, if the chest surgery is entirely successful, will follow 6-8 weeks later.  So chemo is the first step in the hope that it will reduce the size of the tumours, therefore making removal easier.  


Tappity tap tap.   Chemo on Tuesday.  6 weeks of it - but only 2 cycles in that 6 weeks.  If you liked my hair, tell me and I'll take a photo to send to you, because in 3 weeks it will become a casualty of the chemo.  Yuk.  I will be bald.  Cool.  Not.  The NZ Government generously pays for me to have a wig.  Again, if you're interested I'll send you a photo.  This may only appeal to people with a hair fetish.  So once the 6 weeks of chemo is done they will rescan my chest to see if the tumour has shrunk in size, and assess the situation from there.  The tricky part is that they're not too sure exactly what kind of cancer it is, so they're making an educated guess with the type of chemo - and will be crossing their fingers and toes that it's the right kind - therefore effective.  Here's hoping!


Tappity tap tap.  My habit is now starting to annoy me.  I don't think that's a good thing.  I will be in hospital next Tuesday and Wednesday - so if you're in the neighbourhood then toot as you drive past.  


I have nothing further to add.  Except the tapping of my fingernails - which is eventually going to earn me so harsh looks from husband.  I love him, so will stop tapping.  For now.


Lee xxxx